Thursday, April 21, 2005

tip of the week: conflict resolution

Zaz wrote out a nice scenario in the book ("How to Avoid Arguments", page 174) on how a foul/contest should go. In brief, it portrays two rational people debating the merits of the call. Here are some ideas on how to get your opponent to be rational.
1. Avoid hyperbole. (dictionary.com defines it as "(a) figure of speech in which exaggeration is used for emphasis or effect.") Starting off with "that is the worst call I've ever seen" almost always leads to a do-over.
2. Don't take it personally, and don't make it personal. Calmly dissociate yourself and your opponent from the actions, as if it were two other people that were involved in the call.
3. Get over your anger immediately, before you say a word other than "Foul" or "Contest."
4. Give up after 30 seconds or if you repeat yourself more than once.
5. Consider that the other guy may have a point, and that whatever happened may not have been intentional.
6. If all else fails, knee him in the nuts and run away.

6 comments:

luke said...

the jim-count-idris webring is far more entertaining than r.s.d. just for the sake of entertainment, i'm going to have to start my own blog. of course, since i have nothing but a bronze club worlds coaster i really don't have that much to gloat about.

for my first post, i'll have to decide between 'the time kid and i had to dive around in the dumpster at nationals to find my wallet' and 'the time i used the look over there trick to get open for the bronze winner in 2002'.

time to reflect.

Idris said...

ok, conflict resolution in ultimate is obviously 99% about a call.

with that, the big variable in one's approach is rules knowledge. do they know them well enough to apply them if they are corrected? do they know just enough to think they know what they're talking about? do you know them? is the purpose of your outburst simply to fire up our team? are you actually going to get the call corrected? do you think they actually might change their call?

I've gotten into a couple situations with sweet Lou burress where he made flat out the wrong call. just another vet who's been playing for years w/o actually knowing the rules. arguing was pointless because he, like many other players, refuse to actually apply the real rules, and would prefer to simply send it back and discuss later [Lou still owes me several beers from various bets made in different games where I told him what the rule was, he flat out didn't believe me, we made a bet, and then had a do-over so play could continue].

I'm [Frisbee] spewing on somebody else's page, but bear with me.

in games that matter, most likely their will be an observer. [just a note, not a means to an end]

if you actually want to have a chance of having a guy change his call, Jim's approach is best. but...

if either a) the guy making the call is doing so out of lack of rules knowledge, getting hot and in his face doesn't hurt the chances of over turning the call [but may piss him of later], you just need to apply the appropriate rule [w/ or w/o a rule book in hand]. or b) if it was a subjective call w/ no observer, that is, there is little chance it is going to get over turned, you can use it as a fire up tool as you scream "are you f-ing kidding me?" right before checking it again at the appropriate stall.

as a college coach, on calls that are "lame", I'll voice my frustration, but usually only after a single player creates a pattern of lame subjective calls. On plays that are flat out wrong, that is, they just don't know the rules. I will let them know the real rule. But if they get hot and heavy and adamant themselves, that they are right and I am WRONG. I will make them feel as small as possible with a barrage of f-bombs. I have no shame, yes, but not knowing the rules, or worse, misapplying them, is a pet peeve of mine. So if you ever want to get me fired up, simply make the wrong call (i.e. "you are allowed to throw before the 5th groudn contact", then be adamant that you are right. But beware, I disc might come flying at your head later on.

parinella said...

The point is that once you get in the guy's face there is _no_ chance that he will change his call even if you convince him that he's wrong, because you've made it so that it's emasculating for him to do so. You need to give the guy a way that he can reverse himself without looking weak, ignorant, stupid, mean, or clumsy.

If you are going to get theatrical, you can't do it that often or everyone will just say, "oh, that's just Idris going off again", and perhaps worse, they'll say, "watch this, I'm going to tick off Idris. The over/under on his head exploding is 25 seconds." The key to venomous rage is moderation.

Idris said...

i wasn't really commenting on the original post, more adding to it. no question, if you actually want to have a chance of having a player over turn his call, nice guy is the only way to go. i guess i spend more time than the average player dealing with people (college kids) who misapply rules all the time. not only that, they do so with passion.

You alluded to the beauty of being me, that is, you can do whatever you want (or I can, I should say), and people dismiss it as "Idris going off again". :)

that is, its no big accomplishment worthy of anything. getting a quiet guy to tweak, now there is a skill.

Jon said...

Among most of the people I play with regularly, I've gotten the reputation as someone who knows the rules very well. Some would actually go so far as to call me a "rules nazi", but the point is, they don't argue the letter of the law with me.

The problem I get into is when I play with other people who aren't privy to my rules knowledge. Especially people who are older than me (I'm 25) assume they must know the rules better than I do. They happily yell at me and tell me that it's the receiver who make the in/out call.

My new strategy this season is to learn the rules well enough (or at least the ones that are misapplied frequently) to quote the actual number and text. I figure that will be harder to with "rule XV.G. clearly states 'the player with the best perspective makes the call.'"

This will, however, probably not reduce the likelihood of being known as a "rules nazi".

Anonymous said...

Why run after kneeing someone in the nuts? Also, if you are playing coed or women's ulty, this may not be an option.